Hey, Mr. President…
April 3, 2012
……do you think that if you had a son, he’d look like either of these gentlemen:
???
“If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”—Barack Obama
http://cofcc.org/2012/04/two-teens-beat-50-year-old-with-hammer-near-sanford-fl/
Separated At Birth…
January 13, 2012
Personhood Law supporter and sanctimonious U. S. Senator wannabe Robert Marshall
And Tweety Bird’s mom?
Now available from the Ben Roethlisberger Collection…
January 11, 2012
Exclusively at Target:
Wrong.
You’re A Foul One…
December 6, 2011
They really need to stop pestering the first lady with this “respect for flag and country” nonsense.
No-Pa
November 10, 2011
Someone was going to make up this headline; might as well have been me.
I almost feel sorry for the guy; almost. He’s 84, frail and doddering, at PSU for over 60 years, and they fire him with a phone call, when no one has yet been convicted of a crime? Nice.
Let’s face it, he wasn’t running the program. There’s a picture of him next to “figurehead” in the dictionary. They were only keeping him around because he was good for recruiting and, with each victory, he extended his lead in the all-time Division 1 football wins category, and PSU wants desperately for that to never change.
But it was the right call. He and others passed the buck, and people suffered. They all need to go.
The riots speak for themselves.
The good news? The Vatican Office of Pedophilia Facilitation and Cover-Ups offered him a job this morning.
Solyndra…
September 23, 2011
That is all.
John A. Feldenzer M.D.
August 21, 2011
John A. Feldenzer M.D. and The River’s Edge are assholes.
This, of course, is only my opinion.
“Special” Ed Is At It Again…
August 18, 2011
“Special” Ed Schultz is at it again. Now, if Perry had said that “these are dark days in the White House, blacker than we’ve seen in a coon’s age, and we must not be niggardly in our efforts to end them,” I could buy it. But this is a load of shit.
Excellent idea, asshole.
Can Anyone Say Bitter Harridan?
May 18, 2011
Hallmark Holidays
May 5, 2011
by sledpress
I want someone to declare a Non-Mother’s Day.
I grind my teeth about this more every year. For the last two weeks, I can’t download my e-mail or walk into a store without being assaulted by exhortations to buy this or that for “Mom.” Take Mom to brunch, get Mom a Kindle, get fabulous Mother’s Day deals at the office furniture outlet, blah blah blah.
I want a day for women who haven’t contributed to the exponential increase in population that will have this planet groaning under ten billion people by the end of the century. I want flowers for not dumping yet another flannelhead into the public education system at taxpayer expense (currently ten thousand bucks a year, give or take). I want a card for sparing the public yet another brace of unsupervised toddlers squealing and stampeding through the grocery or restaurant. I want a discount for not blocking the sidewalk with a double-wide stroller.
I want a promotional deal for not adding to the traffic jams caused by the exodus from soccer practice or the backup behind a discharging school bus. I want champagne for never imagining, not once, that the compensation for my failures, or the salvation of my marriage, lay in producing yet another human being to juggle the hot potato of my problems through life. I want a gift card for not lowering the collective intelligence of the entire human dialogue with squeally, inane public conversations with a repulsively sticky-faced infant.
I want an upgrade to first class for not believing the mere exercise of my biology made me something special. I want complimentary coffee for not nauseating people with the narcissistic details of sonograms. I want overdue-book amnesty for never blathering on about MY KID until anyone with an IQ higher than their heart rate wanted to cover their ears and scream. I want free admission to the movies for never erasing a man’s future by making him a father when he had other plans.
I want a twofer deal for not causing the destruction of more acres of other species’ homes. I want reserved orchestra seating for women who’ve had a tubal ligation. I want an end to the idea that reproduction is some kind of goddam achievement. It’s not as if human beings were in danger of extinction any time soon.
How about a nice Sunday in June?
—Too bad your Mom didn’t feel the same way.—l a b
Good Ol’ Michael Vick…
April 21, 2011
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=382318&title=michael-vicks-regrets
Norm Macdonald is the most underrated comedian around.
What, No Escalade?!
February 23, 2011
Nice Going, Chuck…
February 1, 2011
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbw1JQbe-_E
These are the people who say Bush was dumb. Which he was, but these chowderheads aren’t the ones to make the case.
Asshole Of The Week…
April 23, 2010
ACORN CEO Bertha “Bowel Movement” Lewis:
“What, why am I AOTW?!”
What a lovely lady.
The Gun Begins To Smoke…
April 9, 2010
Basically, the pope felt that “the good of the universal church” (I’m sorry, what church is that?) outweighs the almost certain repetitive rape of children that resulted from his stonewalling. Nicely done.
Paragraph 5 details the Vatican’s level of concern for the well being of children entrusted to its priests: “The press office doesn’t believe it is necessary to respond to every single document taken out of context regarding particular legal situations,” the Rev. Federico Lombardi said. “It is not strange that there are single documents which have Cardinal Ratzinger’s signature.” How I would love to have a moment alone with this motherfucker:
Not to put too fine a point a point on it, but the question should be asked publicly and loudly: “HOW MANY CHILDREN WERE SEXUALLY MOLESTED, RAPED, AS A RESULT OF THE DIRECT ACTIONS OF THE POPE OF THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH?
