Bad Omen!!!

Volleying with the Antichrist

Now available from the Ben Roethlisberger Collection…

Exclusively at Target:

 

And To Think That All This Time, I Thought Rape Was His Worst Crime…

                                     Wrong.

No-Pa

Someone was going to make up this headline; might as well have been me.

I almost feel sorry for the guy; almost. He’s 84, frail and doddering, at PSU for over 60 years, and they fire him with a phone call, when no one has yet been convicted of a crime? Nice.

Let’s face it, he wasn’t running the program. There’s a picture of him next to “figurehead” in the dictionary. They were only keeping him around because he was good for recruiting and, with each victory, he extended his lead in the all-time Division 1 football wins category, and PSU wants desperately for that to never change.

But it was the right call. He and others passed the buck, and people suffered. They all need to go.

The riots speak for themselves.

The good news? The Vatican Office of Pedophilia Facilitation and Cover-Ups offered him a job this morning.

 

 

Pick One:

Your least likely sports headline of the year:

1. “Literate, German, White, Illegitimate Childless Guy New Face Of NBA.”

2. “UVA Cavalier leads team to basketball championship.”

More Words I Never Imagined I’d Utter…

(repost from 5/5/08)

“PETA delivered an understatement in the defense of animals.”

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354126,00.html

PETA is, of course, ludicrous. They want me to not be able to go fishing. But they’re leaving it at that?

Let’s be honest here, there’s nothing sporting about taking a demonstrably frail animal, slapping 100 pounds of whip-wielding Latino (plus tack gear) on its back, and forcing it to run 1.25 miles at full speed for your gambling pleasure.

These unfortunate creatures (the horses, not the jocks) are said to be beloved by their owners, and are in fact treated with the care and expense that is alien to 95% of the world’s child population. But when they break a leg, which seems to be a common occurrence, they also frequently have to be euthanized, which is to say put to death by the same method, lethal injection, that we use for our most despicable criminals.

Isn’t there anything wrong with this picture?

This is to say nothing of the everyday recreational horse culture, a cult stereotypically riddled with women with thighs the size of tackling dummies and personalities most often found in ham radio operators or Dungeons and Dragons Grand Masters. Or think of the dog handlers in the movie “Best In Show” (or in the Westminster dog show, for that matter), but with horses. So double the affection (and add the weight of the rider and the tack gear) and what do you get: more broken legs and potassium chloride cocktails. I love my horse!

Cowboys? They get a pass. They’re cowboys.

One more thing… a horse cannot be a hero unless it saves a kid from drowning. Or bites the head off of its owner.

Note to PETA folks…Later on I’m going to take my kayak to a nearby lake and, for no other reason but my pleasure, drive hooks into the mouths of as many Micropterus Salmoides as I can locate, and yank them around in the water for a while. Call your hotline, losers.

Good Ol’ Michael Vick…

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=382318&title=michael-vicks-regrets

Norm Macdonald is the most underrated comedian around.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLkdSDAw1gU

Hey, Little Girl…

Still Can’t Win The Big One…

http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2011/01/04/stanford-routs-virginia-tech-orange-bowl/?test=latestnews

On the other hand, Jim Harbaugh’s an asshole. Tyrod (name sigh) was in bounds on that TD throw, and coaches have no business baiting, or even addressing for that matter, opposing players. And I refer here to after-the-play action, not the whiny and wrong finger-pointing as it happened. Plus his brother is the coach of the dirtiest team in the NFL.

Billy Dee Williams, Back On Top…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgiCX_y1BW8

Here’s dessert:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/14/the-7-most-inappropriate_n_286223.html?slidenumber=3#slide_image

Michael Vick, Robin Starr, and My Buddy Michael Paul Williams…

http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/columnists_news/article/MIKE29_20090828-220405/289141/#comments

Let’s do the article first:

MPW is right. There, I said it. And man, does it hurt.

Here’s the key: “In the aftermath, I’m left with the nagging feeling that Starr never intended for anyone outside the SPCA family to find out what happened to Louie.”

Absolutely correct. Although I’m sure there was no intent involved, there was certainly negligence. It’s like this: Mr. Starr either loaded the dog up for Ms. Starr regularly, in which case she should have known it was back there, or he did not, in which case he should have told her he did it on that day, which he did not. THAT is negligence. And as Mr. Benjamin points out, the event is legally actionable.

And, surprisingly, to his credit, MPW begins his article with the phrase “dog killer Michael Vick.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Now, on to the video:

1. Lose the dramatic musical intro, Mike. This isn’t Shakespeare you’re doing here.

2. :17—All of the sudden Vick is just an “animal abuser.” When did “killer” and “abuser” become synonomous?

3. :58—MPW “a bit puzzled?” NO, SAY IT AIN’T SO!!!

4. 1:10—Does MPW really need to glance at the prompter to be sure he gets his name right? Wait, he’s been looking at the prompter the whole time. So what got his attention, a cockroach scurrying across the floor? It is a question that will likely remain unanswered for time immemorial.

This post approved by Clancy.

Can You Imagine The Outrage…

…if a Republican had said this?

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/03/19/obama-compares-bowling-score-special-olympics-tonight/100days/

Keith Olbermann would have vapor locked.

Hope and change.